The Duke is back to remind us once again of his awesomeness.

Duke Nukem 3D. The old PC classic has now since some days been released on the XBL Marketplace. This was one of the first things on the Marketplace which made me instantly go order 2100 Microsoft points, and whoopie, the game was mine. Now, I don’t remember the PC version much at all, except from it’s 100 % buttkicking, so this will be a review without much comparison.

The awesome nature of this game starts as soon as you get to the entrance screen. You can hear the Duke’s voice saying, in it’s amazing epicness, “It’s time to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I am all out of gum”, added in with the awesome Duke Nukem theme music in the background. It literally sends shivers down my spine for it’s high amount of greatness. It makes me want to go out and get myself a Duke Nukem costume and be kick-ass. The menu consists of all the different modes. You have the single player mode, the online mode, the usual options and the user clips. Now user clips is something new aswell, which we will get back to later.

Now, to the single player. Singleplayer consists of four different episodes which have a range of 6-11 levels. Each level has it’s own theme. The first episode, L.A Meltdown has Duke’s ride being shot down by aliens, and you shoot yourself through a city infested with nothing but evil-minded aliens and prostitutes. Yeah, the babes have been spared to entertain the aliens. Those bastards. Lunar Apocalypse brings Duke to space,  Sharpnel City takes him back to the city, and The Birth is a continuation of the story. When Duke is on vacation…the aliens rise again…

For starters, you who are completely new to the Duke Nukem series, and have missed this enourmous wave of entertainment… Duke Nukem was a 2D scroller action game before Duke Nukem 3D, which was their first FPS game in the series. The whole objective of the game is to get through the level, which usually consists of finding different colored access cards throughout the level which opens doors to new areas. At the end of the level, you will have to break a “Duke Nukem Symbol” which looks like a warning sign for something radioactive. At the end of each level, you will get an evaluation on how the level went, and a final “metascore” which is decided based on your completion time, how many secrets you have found and how many monsters you have killed. Levels are usually quite short, and you can compare your time at the end with a Par time, and a 3D realms time. 3D realms complete each level from about 1-4 minutes. At the end of each episode, you face off a big alien boss, which is a lot, lot tougher then your average alien. Talking about average aliens, the monsters you will face in the game can be everything from light-brown aliens, pig cops, big battlelords and other hideous creates just aching to feel the boot of the Duke. Health is measured up to a hundered, but with the help of boosts like Atomic Health, it can go up to 200. The health does not regenerate, and can only be restored with medkits found around the level.

The game is split up into four different difficulties. The easiest one is Piece of Cake (Which I found to be quite a challenge), Let’s Rock which is the normal difficulty, Come Get Some is the hard difficulty and Damn I’m Good which is a real toughie. What’s special about Damn I’m Good is that enemies can come back to life, and if you try to cheat, you will get the message “You are too good to be cheating”. Hilarious, isn’t it?

The level graphics are made out of early 3D, whilst some objects and every opponent is made in 2D. It’s nice to see that they have changed nothing in the game like that, but it sure does make me dizzy when the monsters spins around even when they are dead. That’s retro for you! However, I think the graphics are really nice and any change would have made the game lose it’s retro goodness. However, the objects are well-rendered, even if they are quite pixilated, and you won’t need to use your full imagniation to make out what they have been trying to create.

The sounds are just epic. The old Duke Nukem tune, the voice of Duke Nukem, all in it’s former glory. Some of the monsters make real creepy noises, such as the Assault Commanders who give out this creepy moaning noise, just like a zombie. He also says some few lines with this deep, dark voice, and you know hell is about to be unleashed when you meet this bastard. Also, a noice you will have particular sensitivity for after you have finished this game is the sound the Protozoid Slimers make. They are small, green slimes which crawls around on the ground, and their only goal is to suck on your face. They are the only enemies I found to be quite scary in the game, as when they attatch themselves to your face, you will only first notice when the slimer begins crawling onto your screen. A giant big blob with teeth is nearing and nearing the center. Scary. So their squishy noise is something you will pay good notice too. Now, about the level music. Every level has it’s own distinct tune tune, which is catchy, and the tune fits very nicely with the level in question. I have throughout the game found these tunes to be neither repetetive or dull.

The controllers for this game is responsive and the accurancy is of no annoyance. The only thing I have found annoying was how you change weapons. You who played this game on the PC know well that changing a weapon would only have to press a numeric button form 1-9 for the weapon that you want. Here, you will have to cycle through all the weapons with your RB and LB buttons, and every weapon has to be equipped. It can be quite annoying when you realize that you are being ambushed by something, when you were planning to shoot something long range with your RPG. But that is the only complaint I have found about the controller.

As we are on the subject of weapons, let me give you a quick overview of the 9 (10) weapons which are in the game. The first weapon you will encounter is an automatic fired pistol. The pistol is with you from the first level of the game to the very last. other weapons you will encounter throughout the game is the Shotgun, the Ripper (three-barrel SMG-like weapon), the RPG, the Pipebombs (Grenades with a remote detonator), the Shrinker/Expander (Two weapons in one, the Shrinker makes the opponents go smaller and harmless and can be stomped on for an instant kill. The Expander does the exact opposite and makes the enemy explode), the Devastator (Dualwielded automatic rocketlauncher, capable of firing many rockets in a small amount of time), the Freezer (Will turn the enemy to ice after a few shots) and the tripbombs (Bombs which you stick a wall, and they emit a laser beam, and if this wire of laser is walked through..boom..). Also, Duke will have a number of different gadgets with him, ranging from the jetpack, protective boots, portable medkits, scuba gear, steriods and holographic images of himself.

Death in the game is handled in a very unique way. Your whole progress throughout the level is recorded. At the time of your death, you will have to choose a place to start playing again over a timeline. So you can chooose to start either in the beginning of the level, maybe around 0.30, or anywhere else throughout the level.

User clips are recordings of everything you do in Duke Nukem. They record every map you play and every piece of multiplayer. If you are looking at a singleplayer clip, you can enter the level the clip has been recorded from just by pressing the X-button. These clips are not really editable, but you can share them with friends and such to show off your awesome Duke-skills.

The multiplayer in Duke Nukem 3D consists of two different modes. One of these is a free-for-all deathmatch, where you and three others run around on a level picked out from the single player and kill eachother after a target score. Just regular deathmatch, with all the weapons and toys from the game. The other game mode is One-on-one. Basically the same as the first, only now it’s just you against someone else. But the multiplayer is sadly the biggest dissapointment in the whole game. Granted, I did not have very large expectations for the multiplayer, since I was more out after the singleplayer, but from my perspective, I found it very poor. The first problem I encounter is that the game is very quick, which fits the single player, but in multiplayer, it makes it real hard to hit your enemy. And this is if you are like me, not very quick when it comes to aiming and such, if you are a headshot pro then maybe it will fit you. But then it leaps onto it’s next problem. The delay. I have a fairly good internet connection (24mb down, 1mb up), and my latency on the game was good, the meter indicated, but still all of my shots were delayed by at least half a second, at least noticeable.

The game has 200 Gamerscore worth of achievements, most are pretty easy to get. There are a few multiplayer achievements, if you can bear to play through those, but other then that it’s all singleplayer. And no “Complete the game on Damn I’m Good” either.

In conclusion, the game is still the epic classic. They have managed really well to not improve the game too much, meaning, that it has not lost it’s retro feel. No improved graphic, the music is classic and the gameplay is awesome. The multiplayer can have been better, but I feel that the multiplayer is just an addition to the single player game, which I think is the main reason people will be buying this game.  Don’t get yourselves thrown off because of it (Which I don’t think anyone will be, but hey), because the main game is just as awesome. Duke Nukem 3D is one of those games, which just has the pure gamer feel to it. I want to dim down my lights, get into some sloppy clothes, take out a bowl of snacks and a drink, and just play. It makes you feel like a pure gamer, all over again. Duke Nukem. He’s back to kick ass and chew bubblegum.

And he is all out of gum.

Devil May Cry is the latest installment in the Devil May Cry franchise, and features a new protagonist, Nero.

Devil May Cry 4…I’ve heard the rumours that DMC3 was very hard, but I can tell you that this game is a lot more comfortable. It’s also one of those games I really can’t find the correct words to describe. It’s an awesome game, but it still has its flaws. That’s the short review, here comes the longer one.

So, please bear in mind that this is the first DMC game I have fully played, so I don’t know of any improvements from older games. Anyways, after many beautiful cinematics you start of as Nero, fighting someone with a lot of resembelence to Dante. You who are used to playing Dante from the older DMC games might notice that this boyo has a different aresnal of weapons then him, but he has a sword called Red Queen which he can ‘accelerate’, giving it the possibility to charge up and do some devastating attacks. He also has this double-barrel revolver called Blue Rose which is “capable to fire two bullets almost simultaneously”. Now all of this can be can be compared to the Rebellion and Ebony and Ivory, but then along comes Nero’s Devil Bringer. His right arm is a large demonic arm, which can be used to beat enemies into oblivion, or can be upgraded to eject, and grab a demon which it brings back to you. It can also be used to make powerful Buster moves, which sometimes can be quite simple against normal foes, but practically devastating towards bosses.

The gameplay, the gameplay..It’s still that quick, cinematic battles which we have fallen in love with in Devil May Cry, and I really can’t see anything bad with it. The only personal annoyance I can find with the game is it’s unability to block enemy attacks (The only way out is to dodge them), so if you’re used to blocking attacks and being able to stand still with just pressing one button, be ready to change your way of gaming. Now, one thing that might be a bit saddening about this game is that it can be slightly linear. When you reach about halfway of the game, I felt it as if the game almost started over, only this time you were playing it backwards. Yeah, you play through every level in the game again, only backwards. Now, I saw this as a bit saddening, as even the bosses were the same. But, the fighting and the game itself is very, very enjoying, so the majority of the game could’ve been just a gray room and Dante slicing demons and I would’ve found it enjoying.

There is not too much to say about the graphics. They’re beautiful, the whole game runs very smooth and the cinematics are just spectacular. The only thing I’ve noticed is that it looks a bit weird when someone gets their chest penetrated by a sword, and there’s not even a mark on the clothing. Okay, they might be demons and there is no visisble wound, but correct me if I’m wrong, is there clothing that could withstand a blade being thrust at 70 mp/h straight into it and it would hold? Not even Gore-tex.

Now the items in the game are something that you will most probably recognize from earlier games. You have your currency, the red orbs, which is collected from enemies and bosses in the game. You also have the green orbs, which replenish your health. You have the blue orbs, and the blue orb fragments, which permanently increases your maximum health. You also have the purple orbs which increase your total magic, the silver orbs which replenish your magic and the gold orbs which will ressurect you if you die. Items can also be bought from the shop with your red orbs, and in there you can finds different coloured “stars” which will either replenish your health or your magic, depending on the colour. Now, the biggest change with items from the previous games is that you no longer buy your character skills from the shop with red orbs. You buy them with Proud Souls, which you gain after every misson depending on how well you have finished the mission.

Yeah, as before, you get a rating from completing every mission, influenced by how long you took to complete the mission, how many stylish points you recieved and how many orbs you found. The worst rank is D. After that it can raise up to C, B, A and finally S-ranking. The same with the in-game combos, only there you can raise the rank above S. Deadly, Carnage, Brutal, Atomic, Smokin’, Smokin’ Style and Smokin’ Sick Style.

Now to add in with all this, you have quite challenging achievements (But it also gives inspiration for several replays of the game), a possibility to upload your scores on each level online so that you can compare your awesomeness with other players and unlockable game modes (Such as survival). All in all, Devil May Cry 4 is an awesome game, and if it weren’t as repetetive, it could have easily gotten a higher score. But, either if you’re a fan of the DMC franchise, or just a newbie to the series and just want some insane hack and slash, you will find what you seek in Devil May Cry 4.

My Xbox 360 RRoD’d last friday, and due to that I have been unable to write any new reviews. The video review will have to be delayed aswell, as my video software is acting up and is making the movies really, REALLY, pixilated.

Anyways, I have borrowed my brothers 360, and I will be back on the gaming track in no time.

• Duke Nukem 3D (XBL Arcade)
• A suprise video review!

Stay tuned!

Viking: Battle of Asgard really puts the ass in Asgard

This game…is a load of garbage. It’s linear, graphics reminding me of old PS2 games and gameplay which is both horrible and acceptable at the same time.
I’ll keep it short, for this warning needs to get out.

So, you play as Skarin, some blonde, long-haired hardcore viking with amazing muscles and rocking tatoos. You’re the silent character, meaning, the only sounds you make throughout the games is the occasional grunt when you get your bum kicked. I really don’t have anything against this character. The fur-lined leather armor and  the sword and axe sitting nicely seathed on his back makes him look sort of cool. Skarin is apparently having visisions (which you get your small taste out throughout the game, and they are really just pointless) and he is also the servant of Freya. Servant? More like her slave. She says jump, you say how high. Well, not say. Perhaps sort of indicate it with your hands. You get my point.

The game begins with Skarin getting killed by a big champion called Drakan, whom is Hels servant. Hel is the main antagonist of the game, raising armies of undead Legion and making the land sour. Anyways, Skarin is then ressurected and rejoins the battlefield. Yeah. Over the game, you will visit three islands. The first one is smaller, the second one is bigger, the third one is the biggest. Sadly, there is no real change in difficulty. I remember dying most on the first island, before learning the gameplay and the techniques. After that it’s just rinse and repeat. Literally. Rinse. And repeat. On the first island, you have to complete several tasks to build an army big enough to take over the enemy head base, which is a big viking town. So you go around, liberating viking camps, opening up the supplies (Which you do by liberating lumber mills and so on..) and summoning a dragon. Now all of this sounds pretty nice for a start. Going around, killing legion with awesome moves, cleaving them in half whilst liberating viking camps. But no. You will realize that when you get to the second island, it all starts over again. It’s the exact same thing, only now you have a bigger island to liberate, and two towns that you have to take over. And the exact same from the transition from second to third island. It’s awful. It makes you want to put the controller down nicely on your bed, then walk outside and hope lightning strikes you.

And the battles. The battles for towns. They are also the exact same throughout the game. The point is that, your enemies has the shamans, which summons new Legion to fight you all the time. So you have to take out those shaman, and then get to the portal to the end of the town to summon your shaman there, so that she can convert the portal, making the town yours. Sounds odd? Yes it is. Does it sound like you will do this more then you want in this game? Yes, that’s true. In every single fight you kill some champions (or giants), get some dragon runes, get the dragons to kill a shaman, and then go kill the last shaman yourself. Over and over again.

Throughout the game you can collect money from sacks of money lying on the ground, urns or treasure chests. You can also earn money from handing in kegs of mead to the local innkeeper, but that is just random luck finding a keg. Because trust me, you don’t want to run around looking for them. You want to complete this game as fast as possible. Anyways, with this money you can buy upgrades and items from your nearby shops. You can by runes to imbue your weapon with magical powers. These runes are either fire, frost or lightning. However, these effects are not constant, and depletes some sort of magic bar which is filled by collecting red orbs from slain enemies. You can also press and hold A and X simultaneously to unleash a more powerful attack at your enemy, which depletes more of this “magic”. Now, there are four upgrades for each rune, and since I was watching the achievements for the game whilst playing, I saw that there was an achievement each for unleashing the most powerful runes power onto an enemy. So, I was hoping that, wow, there would be some awesome graphics when I unleash my powers onto the enemies. No. It’s the EXACT same graphic as the first rune. Oh for the love of. Anyways…The other items range from health upgrades to potions to throwing axes to treasure maps.

Since this being a game of exactly the same thing all over again, guess what happens when you have to upgrade your weapons? Well, firstly you have to find a shrine to stick the sword into. Then you sort of glow for a moment, and so does your sword, and then you pull it out. Crossed fingers it will have ugpraded somehow, looking more cool then before.
No. Just no. Nothing happened. Nothing at all. Everything looks the same. Did they not THINK whilst doing this game? It’s like they “Oh hey, I know, let’s make a game about vikings!” and then they made ONE level which they just copied three times, added some colours and WHAMMO, they had a new game. This game had ALL the potential of being a great game. Why did they have to screw it up?

There’s just one thing this game exels at. Slicing enemies in half. I just love cutting an enemy in half in slow motion. Sadly, since the enemies are also about the exact same throughout the whole game, these moves also remain the same, meaning they get pretty boring after a while, maybe. Nah, it’s fun slicing things in half.

So, all in all, this game is a piece of crud. The only reason this should be played is wether you enjoy playing really bad games, or for the pretty easy 1000 gamerscore. But it’s mostly bad. Real bad. Don’t spend a lot of money on this.